Invasion News Another war began today, I tell my love. She’s skeptical; I’ve been recounting my dreams. I cannot place it? Glimpsed in frenetic scrolling while waiting in line at the store, or eye-dropping over another commuter’s shoulder on the metro perhaps. Which former Soviet countries are involved? I resolve to find out, Googling: “invades” Tab: [news]. The first headline warns of Xi Jingping’s plans to invade us in 5 years, as though foretelling rather than forecasting, or rather perpetuating the posturing of an autocrat before a sham election. Other headlines tell of crocodiles invading Brazilian beaches, rabbit-sized rats invading Scottish homes, and sex-crazed spiders invading England, leading me to suspect it may have been a dream, until results [page 8] includes: Tajikistan invades Kyrgyzstan, apparently less newsworthy than bestiocracy.